FYI-- MY BUDDIES

MY BUDDIES
Snaps & Rank- Sessions

Back in the 6th and 7th grade I just knew that I was going to be a comedian. Martin was, and still is one of my idols, and back then I wanted to be just like him. I used to study and memorize all his jokes. From Hakeem Olajadome- to Wevie Wonder, I know them all. However, I believe my interest in Martin derived from the 3rd grade when I had an altercation with Mr. Marquel Patton. Here is the story:

As many of you may know growing up your joke game had to be on point. If your mom bought you a jersey with somebody who did not play for that team anymore, it was NOT considered a throwback! Back then it was considered generic! and you were going to get it.

I distinctly remember getting some buddies (AKA, no- name- brand shoes). As soon as my mom bought me the shoes I already knew what it was. The next day she tried to send me to school with the buddies and I strongly protested, but she was not trying to hear that. So she demanded that I wear the shoes and sent me off to school. It was a VERY slow walk to school that day. With every step I took, I looked down at the no- name- brand buddies. If I could have went to school bare foot that day, I would have!

My nervousness grew as I approached the school. I was intentionally late that day to avoid the basketball game that I played with my friends before school. There was no way that I was about to hoop in Air-Buddies! I eagerly entered the school, not saying a word to anyone and quickly sat down at my desk to hide the buddies. I breathed a collective sigh of relief. I was safe.

The buddies were hidden under the desk, everything was OK. As the day progressed I forgot I had the buddies on. I was laughing and joking and carry-on and everything seemed cool right? WRONG! As 12:00 hit I forgot about the most social part of the day, lunch! As my friend commenced me for lunch I began to sweat bullets. My heart was beating a mile a minute as we walked to the lunch room to stand in line. My friend asked me "Man you look sick, are you alright?" Truth be told I was shook knowing in the back of my head that somebody was going to call out my buddies.

However, It had been 4 hours without a word from anybody, my confidence gained as I thought about my status in the school. I was a star at Riveredge Elementary. I was a star in the talent show, and won the pattle-tennis,and hot-shot competitions at field day. I did not even know why I was trippin, I was good.

As soon as I began to breathe easy, I began to hear chuckles, then I heard a voice scream out "AWWW HELL NAW". As I turned around I saw my rival, Marquel Patton. I knew that I was about to get it. Man, he went so hard on my buddies the whole line was dying with laughter. He attacked my buddies from all angles, and sent me back to class with a salty face! In fact, I was salty for the rest of the year, hell I still fell a way about that day.

I tell you that story to say that from that point forward I knew I had to have some jokes. So I studied Martin, and watched show likes Def Comedy Jam, Comicview, Wayans Brothers, and Jamie Foxx.

While alot of my material was original, I also read books. One of the books I studied was called SNAPS. For those who don't know, SNAPS was a joke book that had some of the best jokes from all the famous comedians. I remember being so excited when I got Snaps 3 for Christmas ! (LOL). After I got my joke game up it just was not fair, The kids at Riveredge Elementary, and Roehm Middle School were not safe. I used to be able to go toe-to-toe with anybody.

Anybody who tried to pull my card was getting ranked on, and I had material for days. Momma Jokes, House Jokes, Clothes Jokes, Shoes Jokes, you name it, I had it. However, my specialty was HEAD JOKES, and LOOK-ALIKES! man I could go on for days on somebodies head (No Homo). While I still can go toe-to-toe, admittedly I have lost some of my luster. At 23, I might get into a rank session and get embarrassed, and for the record I am ashamed to admit that.

At any rate, I want to take this time to commemorate rank-sessions, as well as snaps, for making me the man I am today. Ya Dig.